I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
