Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
