Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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