is your mom at the bar?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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