im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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