I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
