We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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