You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The Olympian is in my bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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