so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
