the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize
