i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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