He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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