i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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