I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
