She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
