Michael Bay diarrhea
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
