god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize