I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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