i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
