Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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