he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
