Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You are a genius and a whore.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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