you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
