WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Randomize
