I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
