Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
