just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You left your phone here
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