she woke up with a sticky ear
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
its liver damage thursday
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize