Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
