dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
it's great music for shaving your balls
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I need to sanitize my soul.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
