It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
