i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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