i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Barsexuality is the new black.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize
