You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
