Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
