She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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