Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
