Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
