i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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