I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize