Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
