Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
