If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
