Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
