At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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