I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
