Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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