your parents love me but you hate me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
