big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize