a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
