i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
