Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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