My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
