i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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