Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
