he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
