I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
