He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
