I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
