sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
