god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
